“What are some alternatives to adoption?”

• Family preservation (when safe and possible)

• Kinship care (when safe and possible)

• Fictive kinship care (when safe and possible)

• Temporary guardianship

• Permanent legal guardianship

• Transfer of custody

• Power of attorney

• Conservatorship

“Are you anti-adoption?”

I am anti-adoption industry. There’s a difference. Adoption is effectively a failure of the social safety net. It’s what happens when you have rendered people choiceless and made parenting unattainable or impossible. The process of adoption as it currently stands in the United States is an unnecessary legal process that alters vital documents, withholds history, heritage, and vital information from children, and permanently binds infants to life-long contracts they can neither consent to, nor ever be released from. There are several alternatives that provide safe external care to children in need that do not include violating their rights.

“But what do we do with all the “Unwanted” babies?”

There is no such thing. Full stop. Stop asking this question in this dehumanizing way. Currently in the United States, while it is difficult to find an exact accurate number, some sources estimate that there are roughly 2 million couples currently waiting to adopt in the United States — which means there are as many as 36 waiting families for every one infant who is placed for adoption.

“Are you pro-life or pro-choice?”

This has no business being in a conversation about adoption. Abortion is an alternative to pregnancy. Adoption is an alternative to parenting. One is not the opposite of the other. Adoptees have repetitively asked both sides to stop using them as pawns in this argument.

“What about the 400,000 children in foster care that are waiting to be adopted?”

This is a common misconception. There are not 400,000 children in the American foster care system that are waiting to be adopted. The goal of foster care is reunification. Whenever safe and possible, the goal is to reunite children with their parents, family member, or fictive kin. As of 2021 data, an estimated 391,098 children are reported to be in the foster care system. Of that number, approximately 113,589 have adoption as their case plan goal. The average age of a waiting child is almost 8 years old. NCFA, the National Council For Adoption states that more than 1/3 of the children exiting the system spend more than 2 years in care. Half of those children having spent three to four years in care, and nearly 10,000 children having spent five or more years in care. This is a painful reminder that society isn’t running to foster care to provide these children with safe and loving homes. Your argument is ridiculous. Do better.